[PAA-Discuss] Fw: more on Palin

[carolekeene at juno.com]

Received from a friend who lives in Alaska.
 
--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "Carol Biggs Alaska Nature Connection" <aknature at alaska.net>
 
... and this just in ...  Carol

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/opinion/383843_alaska19.html

  That Sarah Palin is one unreal Alaskan
  By SETH KANTNER
  GUEST COLUMNIST
 
  I'm sitting on my bearskin chair beside the woodstove, in Kotzebue,
Alaska, 50 miles above the Arctic Circle, while outside the ocean begins
to
freeze over. Inside I have about 49 things piling up to say to you,
America.
 
  I'm an Alaskan -- born in an igloo, enjoy whale muktuk, all that -- and
in
case you aren't sick of our state by now, I'll start off with an apology
for
one of our residents: Sarah Palin.
  
  We Alaskans are not generally so magazine-pretty like her, nor are we
so
confrontational and vapid. Most of us don't have those peachy cheeks --
we
have sunburn, windburn and frostbite. Our fingernails are dirty from
actually gutting moose, not yakking about it. Our hands are chapped from
picking thousands of salmon out of nets, not holding one up for the
camera.
 
  Having said that, here in Alaska we are accustomed to getting jobs
we're
not qualified to fill. In our far-flung villages and towns we have big
money
surrounded by big wilderness; the combination causes warped career
opportunities. Sort of an Edge of Nowhere phenomenon -- cousin to the
Bridge
to Nowhere one.
 
  For example, in the village closest to the wilderness homestead where I
was raised, I remember standing in my friend's cabin when his dad got a
call
on the CB radio: "People are writing you in for mayor."
 
  "Nope!" my friend's dad transmitted. "Tell 'em no, I ain't doing that."
He
spit in a can, peered out the door at his Honda generator -- idling rough
--
with an extension cord running up the hill and under his door, to power
the
rerun of "Dukes of Hazzard" he was watching.
 
  If he'd lived in Wasilla 25 years later, he could have responded, "Call
Sarah, she'll want it."
 
  Similar stories abound. Jimmy: who got the dogcatcher job by telling
the
interviewer, "I can shoot a shotgun, .30-06, .308 "  Or my friend Ian,
who
this summer worked with computers -- until he was named CEO of a $45
million
corporation.
 
  Tougher in Alaska? Not necessarily. Here most anyone can be dogcatcher,
city planner, governor, with little or no experience. That's one beauty
of
our state -- although, often the only thing keeping it all working is the
lubrication provided by obscene amounts of money.
 
  Sitting on this worn-to-the-hide bearskin chair of mine, scribbling, I
pause to glance at a month-old newspaper before I stuff it in the stove.
Lo!
There's yet another photo of Gov. Palin; she's sitting in a glass office
in
Anchorage, with a bearskin, too, draped across the back of her expensive
couch. Sarah's wearing heels. The bear's wearing a fake head with a
plastic
snarl. In the foreground on a glass table crouches something with pincers
--
a taxidermied king crab!
 
  I'll have to show this photo to my Eskimo friends I grew up with. We
simply never contemplated such wanton unAlaskanness. Why not eat the damn
thing? We ate this bear I'm sitting on, including the paws and jaw and
fat -- some of which we ate raw, while some got rendered for piecrusts.
 
  Out beyond my window, the slush ice is thickening. In the west lie the
Bering Straits. Yes, Vladimir Putin and Moscow are over there somewhere
-- a
little closer than London. Plenty of us reside hundreds of miles closer
to
Russia than Palin ever did down in the big-cities of Wasilla or Juneau.
In
the past 40 years, Russians have motored across a handful of times,
Russian
Eskimos, in homemade boats. One that I know stayed and married. She's an
Eskimo dancer and ivory carver, very capable and beautiful, in a real
way.
And, I guess like the rest of us now, an overnight foreign policy expert.
 
  By now the world knows our Gov. Palin is an expert at swishing around
in
color-coordinated this and that, with her makeup, fake Minnesota accent,
and
her mooseburger and mean-spirited commentary. We can only hope people
realize she's a pretty unreal Alaskan, one who is simply skimming the
gravy
off our hard-earned Alaskan mystique to mix with her varnished nonsense.
 
  (And yes, some Alaskans do sell varnished moose turds, also.)
 
  In the Arctic, where global warming is melting our world regardless of
Palin's lone charge against reality, her alleged appeal leaves many of us
cold. With our long winters and tough trails, we still value a beaver hat
and common sense more than high heels and clip-on hairdos. We simply
don't
want another leader less intelligent than we are.
 
  Eight years with the cowboy and copilot Halliburton at the helm has
been
hard on our land. Too much polluting, an unnecessary war draining our
economy and both men too cool for global warming. We can't afford to turn
now to a beauty contestant and an old guy who's acting like he's run the
Iditarod too many times without winning. (Beating his dogs, he's so
desperate to win.)
 
  Come on, people. Our ice is melting. Your jobs are turning to dust.
Everyone's bank statements are on the verge of being firestarter. Your
heating oil is $4 a gallon, ours is $8.
 
  John McCain's answers to those problems? Heck, I honestly don't know
what
he stands for this week. Talk about a shifting ice floe. But his running
mate, we've heard her answers: She's already sued the polar bears, now
she's
chanting, "Drill, baby, drill!"
 
  Wake up, folks. Sarah Palin is America's bridge to nowhere. Get off it.
 
  From up here in the Arctic -- not left or right but north of the
campaign
trail -- the reality is clear and cold: When John McCain chose Sarah
Palin,
he wrote America out of his will. It's time for us to write him out of
our
future.
 
  Seth Kantner was born and raised in the Arctic and is a commercial
fisherman in Alaska's northernmost salmon fishery. He is the author of
"Shopping for Porcupine" and the best-selling novel "Ordinary Wolves."
 
 
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