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<DIV class=OutlookMessageHeader dir=ltr align=left><FONT face=Tahoma
size=2>-----Original Message-----<BR><BR></FONT></DIV>
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<TD class=blue align=left>Winner Of The First-Ever National Press
Club Award For Humor</TD>
<TD class=event align=right>July 31, 2006</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE></TD></TR>
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<H3>Breaking News</H3></TD></TR>
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<H1>Axis Of Evil Flooded With Membership Applications</H1>
<H2>Kim Jong-Il 'Very Picky' About Filling Open Third
Slot</H2><BR>The Axis of Evil, which originally consisted of Iran,
Iraq and North Korea, has been flooded with membership applications
of late as evildoers around the world vie to fill the slot vacated
by Iraq. <BR><BR>That is according to North Korean President Kim
Jong-Il, who since 2002 has served as Chairman of the Axis of Evil
while also holding down the post of Chairman of the Axis of Evil's
membership committee. <BR><BR>At a press conference in Pyongyang
today, President Kim said that the bewildering number of
applications received at the Axis of Evil offices each day is "proof
that evildoing is alive and well." <BR><BR>"No question about it,
evildoing is a growth industry," Mr. Kim told reporters. "It's the
only thing in the world these days that's keeping pace with
obesity." <BR><BR>Mr. Kim said that in addition to the terror group
al-Qaeda, which submits Axis of Evil applications on a weekly basis,
the A.O.E. has also received applications from Hamas, Hezbollah,
Syria, and Hugo Chavez of Venezuela. <BR><BR>"This is going to be a
very, very tough call," Mr. Kim told reporters. "All of these folks
probably deserve to be in, but there's only one slot." <BR><BR>The
North Korean madman said that he had hoped to make a decision by the
end of the week, but that is probably unrealistic: "Mel Gibson just
sent in an application and that's going to need some serious
consideration." <BR><BR>Elsewhere, after former Iraqi dictator
Saddam Hussein said he wanted to be executed by a firing squad if he
is sentenced to death, President Bush dispatched Vice President Dick
Cheney to Baghdad. </TD></TR>
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